Australia Diary: We Have to Get Naked

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Australia Diary

Visitors encounter a surprise on one of Sydney’s nude beaches.

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Feb. 6, 2018

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CreditCourtesy of Heather Hope

SYDNEY

Captain G-String

By Heather Hope

My husband and I visited one of Sydney’s nude beaches, a particularly gorgeous cove of cream-colored sand and turquoise sea, hidden behind green jungle.

The beach was patronized mostly by gay men, but lightly sprinkled with a few women.

Before removing our swimwear we took a reconnaissance walk along the shore. It was then that we noticed a small red boat hurtling toward us. It looked like the Coast Guard.

“Uh oh,” we joked, “they’re coming to tell us that we have to get naked.”

The skiff came to a stop right in front of us. That’s when we noticed the captain, a wetsuit-wearing Kenny G look-alike.

Unsure of his motives, we took a step back, watching transfixed as he dropped anchor and then began to merrily ring a loud bell.

Suddenly, the formerly placid beach became animated. Hearing the jaunty tune, the nudes jumped off their towels, sauntering toward the boat. They lined up, clutching their wallets.

That’s when we realized… It’s the ice cream man!

Gotta. Love. Australia.


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